The Christmas Story

As I stood in the mirror, I stared at myself and I don't think one nice thing came to mind. I began thinking of all the ways I had failed at work that week. The mistreatment I had given anyone that crossed me wrong. I thought of how I hadn't met my daily water intake goal and how again another 5 days had passed and I hadn't stepped foot in the gym. I thought of how the scale still read a number much higher than I wanted and how my clothes were still too tight. Oh...and how those maternity clothes are still filling my comfort zone quite well. I thought of how we had over spent here and not saved enough there. I thought of all the ways I could do better as a mom to Grady or a wife to Zeb. I thought of the dishes that still needed done, the floors that needed cleaned, and the laundry that needed washed. I thought of the 7 to 8 books waiting to be read and the PHR I have yet to dedicate enough study time to. I thought of the bible that was getting dusty on my bedside table. And then I began to wonder....Where is my God in all of this? How have I found myself so far removed that all I can do is recognize how messy my life has become? What desert have I wandered into?

Satan is the best liar and the best thief of our life.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy..."-John 10:10

In that moment a tear began to fall. I had become so caught up in keeping up that I had completely lost my soul.

"I don't wanna gain the world and lose my soul"-Toby Mac

I was talking to a mentor/friend at work a couple weeks ago and she said something that sent chills through my whole body. We were discussing how to handle the tough things that life throws at you sometimes and she said something so convicting. "How would you want Grady to handle it?"

"How would you want Grady to handle it?"

"How would you want Grady to talk to himself when everything feels out of control and messy?"

"How would you advise your very best friend to work through the mess or rut or situation they were going through?"

I mean isn't that how it is? So often we let our self talk or self advice sound much different than what we might tell those we love most. But what if for 1 minute you said something different to yourself? What if you believed you could go after your dream? What if you believed you could create different habits? Or quit habits you have had for a long time? What if you told yourself you could do better? Or that you were actually pretty and worthy  of great things? What if you believed that there was a God that has come so that you could have life more abundantly? What if you knew you didn't have to carry those burdens alone?

What if...???

It is Christmas time. And the real Christmas story tells us that there was a savior born over 2000 years ago. He laid in manger. He lived a perfect life. He died a perfect death. And he rose from that tomb for you. So that you could live today and walk amongst this crazy world without dying to it. You see there is an enemy lurking. He is finding everything he can as a foothold to keep you down. He wants to kill your belief, steal your joy, and destroy any relationships in your life that might do otherwise. I'm praying we stay focused on the light of this world. The light that led the shepherds through the night to the new born king. The light that continued to shine for all the world. The light that lives in you. The light that lives in me. For our broken souls are made perfect by the only one that could. Unto us a King is born!

"...I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full"-John 10:10

The Familiar Voice

I have said this before, but since becoming a mommy I have not felt called to be home rather than working. I truly believe there is a place for me in the workforce and I really enjoy what I do. With that said, I definitely have my moments when I wonder how different things might look if I did take the opportunity to be a stay at home mommy. Maybe I could work harder at my fitness certification that has been pending for 6 months or get better at cooking, read more, oh all the time I would have!(I know all my SAHM friends are laughing at me right now. It's not reality) I had a moment about a month ago, it was a Sunday morning. Zeb was at work and I was trying to get Grady down for his morning nap. He wouldn't go down. After an hour and a half and lots of tears I FINALLY got him to sleep. However, I couldn't help but wonder if the reason I couldn't do it was because I didn't do it enough. There was Satan, creeping in to tell me just one more thing I wasn't good at.

Fast forward to yesterday. Can I tell you what I absolutely, 100% love about being a working mommy? Yesterday, I walked into Ms. Ruby's house. I made my way back to the room where all the kiddos hang out. I found Ms. Ruby in her chair and behind her was Grady. He hadn't seen me yet, but as I was walking up to the gate I began talking. Immediately those sweet blue eyes popped around the chair and his face lit up. He got his hands straight and crawled as quick as his little body would let him right over to me. As I picked him up he just clenched to me. And ladies and gentlemen, this momma's heart melted. How sweet it is to walk in, after a hard day at work, to that sweet face and get that response. Because even though he couldn't tell me, I knew he was just as excited to see me as I was him.

When I thought about that moment, I began to think about Jesus. Isn't that how He is? We go through times of absence. Times when we get to "work" on our lives trying to make everything right and happen just the way we want it. It may be days. It may even be months and years. Maybe we forget what it's like to even know Jesus on a daily basis anymore. Maybe we think He has forgotten us or better yet, mad at us for trying to do life on our own. Maybe we get caught up in the Holiday season feeling stressed and pressured by all of the demands this season can bring. Maybe life has thrown us around on one too many crazy rollercoasters and it feels impossible to think that God is even watching over you anymore so you go into the desert for a little bit. Maybe somewhere along the way the world got real good at convincing you that you needed way more of it than any spiritual relief. Whatever it is, maybe it has just been a while since you have seen the face of Jesus and felt the hand of God. Felt that sweet grasp. Jesus is like that moment with Grady. Regardless of the absence, of how the departure went, of how the all the time in the middle without each other seemed, His response when you return will be pure joy. His face will light up. His pace will be quick. His clench will be strong. And he will hold you and kiss you and without a word needed the joy in his face will say in that all familiar way, "I am so glad you came back".

Sweet friends, my prayer is that you are seeking and experiencing that joy today. My prayer is that you are asking God to fight the fleshly desires on your behalf. That Satan would not stand a chance in your life because of the relationship you have with your Father, in Heaven. If you are finding yourself in the desert, I pray you hear his voice leading you home. I'm praying you needed this reminder as much as I did today. And in the spirit of this season that is all about Him and the life He lived I pray for a fire to be lit in your soul. And when that fire is lit, I pray you take that light to others to spark their fire.

Some wandered in desert wastelands, finding no way to a city where they could settle.They were hungry and thirsty, and their lives ebbed away.Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He led them by a straight way to a city where they could settle.Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind,for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.-Psalm 107:4-9