Distractions

Sunday was just like any other Sunday. I got up at about 8:30. I took a shower and ate some breakfast. Danced around while getting ready and then was off to church at about 9:52, just in time to park and grab some coffee before the service started at 10. I love my Sundays. I love worship and the people at my church. I love the kids I serve and Pastor Craig. I'm rarely disturbed or bothered on my sunday mornings.

This Sunday felt different though. I did not experience worship the same and I could hardly focus while Pastor Craig spoke. God had his own message for me that morning and it was not coming through my pastor. This message was weighing on my heart. I was distracted. I was so upset and bothered by myself. Afterwards, I told Zeb that I felt disconnected with God. I told him about how my heart was carrying a heavy burden that morning and it was going to take a lot to lift it. He wanted to know more and how to fix it, but I couldn't explain it right then.

Monday night I went to Lifegroup. This is a group of women that I spend time with every Monday night reading the bible and praying with. We talk about our weeks. We celebrate special occasions together and just support one another. Last night we talked about the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-42. This is the story of Jesus and his disciples. They visited Mary and Martha at their home. When they stopped in Mary sat at Jesus' feet, while Martha kept trying to make sure everything was perfect. She remained busy. Jesus told Martha "You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed"(41-42).

That is when it hit me. This burden on my heart was God telling me to focus on him instead of the many other things that I have been worried about. I felt like Jesus was talking to me right then. Sasha, Sasha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. JESUS! I had been completely distracted by so many things going on in my life that I had been neglecting the one thing I need...my savior.

Its only been a little over a week since I got engaged, but I had let it consume me. I had spent the whole week on details of wedding venue, dresses, photography, catering, and anything else you could think of. I hadn't even taken a second to praise God for this step in my life. I hadn't taken any time to talk to God about what this will look like in my life. Like Martha I had been caught up in the details of everything.

Zeb and I are so excited to spend the rest of our lives together, but we cannot forget to seek and praise God. While wedding planning is fun we can't forget that we have a lifetime of a marriage to prepare for as well. Therefore, this is my prayer...

God, focus my heart.
Thank you for reminding me of your grace.
Thank you for pulling me back in and helping me to realize the most important thing which is your love.
I pray that you would continue to wake me up.
I pray that you would prepare Zeb and I for a marriage that honors you and you alone.
I pray that we would not crave the things of this world for our wedding, but that we would crave you and your presence on our special day.
I pray that financial struggles a long the way would not cause turmoil, but in those moments of stress that we would seek your guidance.
Keep our eyes on you Lord and your purpose for us as a couple.
We love you and thank you for all that you are.
Amen

The Proposal

So as most people have heard already Zeb and I were engaged over the weekend! Yay! So exciting! Therefore, I thought it would be fun to post the story on my blog as today's entry. I was completely shocked when it happened! My youngest sister is in town and I thought there was no way he would do it with her here...turns out I was wrong!

Saturday morning he called me at 6 AM. "Oh my gosh, why is Zeb calling me so early?" That is what was going through my head.

"Hello"-Me

"Hey, what are you doing?"-Zeb

"Uh...Sleeping"-Me (what else would I be doing? ha ha)

"Well check your text messages"-Zeb

"ok"-Me

So when I got off the phone with him, I checked my text messages. There were two from him. The first one said; "Goodmorning beautiful, let's go for a walk. I got the dogs loaded up and I am headed over. Leave your sister sleeping". That one was followed by..."Are you awake". This was after I never answered to the sweet text before. So anyway I got up and brushed my teeth and headed out to his truck. As I got in the truck I immediately asked why he was up so early. He said he couldn't sleep and so he decided he wanted to go on a walk at boomer. We got about a half a mile down the road and he started to turn around. I asked what was wrong and he said he forgot to have me grab my camera. "Why do I need my camera?" He told me that he is doing a paper on airplanes and birds ( he is an aviation major) and so he wanted to take pictures of the geese at the lake. Hmmm...ok...So I went back in and grabbed my camera. Ok now to the good part.

We got all the way to the lake. We got out and grabbed the dogs. We were about 15 minutes into the walk when we came across a large amount of geese. I asked Zeb if he wanted a picture of them. He told me to hang on. He creeped to the edge of the grass to look onto the lake at the geese. Then he turned to me and told me to let Ryder off his leash. We like to let Ryder chase after the geese. :) Ryder was going crazy and I was struggling to do so, but I did finally let him off. Right as I looked back up I turned to find Zeb on one knee.

"What are you doing?"-Me

Zeb gets off his knee

"Did you see it?"-Zeb

"What?"-Me

I looked down at the leash and there it was..."Oh there is a ring on here!" ha ha that is exactly what I said.

"Will you marry me?"-Zeb

I don't think I took a breath for almost two minutes from being in shock, laughing, and only semi tearing up. Ha ha. A couple was walking up at that moment and so I asked them to take a picture for us. And this is the one we got.

Almost an hour later, after we completed our walk...Zeb said, "you know you never actually said yes."
"Well of course"-Me

The story, timing, and ring were all perfect! I am so excited. We haven't gotten details yet, but as we do I will keep you all posted! I want everyone there to celebrate with us!

A New Adventure!

I am officially an Independant Beauty Consultant for Mary Kay. I like that because it means I don't just sell Mary Kay products, I actually get to help women maximize their beauty! Now of course when I first decided I wanted to do this, I was hesitant. Convincing others of something has never been my strength and especially when it includes selling them merchandise. I have never been one to want to put people in a situation where they feel obligated to buy something. After doing some research though I realized that this does not have to be my focus at all.

Therefore, I found these were the things I get to do.

1. Throw parties
I love hosting events! Part of being a Beauty Consultant is event planning. I get to help women host face parties. We get to play with make up and decide what works best for our skin. Treats and prizes are included. Not only that girlfriends get to come together for a fun evening of friendship and beauty. How fun!

2. Network
I get to meet tons of new women. This could be through hosting parties for women I don't know or just through working with other Mary Kay Beauty Consultants. Double fun!

3. Work with great products
I have used Mary Kay products since I was 16 years old and always loved them! Now I get to work with products that I love and introduce them to other women. My absolute favorite is the Belara Perfume!

4. Give away free stuff
This is my favorite one for sure. There are always really great incentives for making a purchase or hosting a party including free stuff! I like giving away free stuff because it gives women an opportunity to try out some great products at no cost to them!

I am excited to start this new adventure. I know it will challenge me in very different ways than I am used to, but I am looking forward to it! I hope to meet lots of new women and also have fun with the women who are already in my life. I will start with you as my blog readers...Do you have some friends you want to get together for a night of makeovers? Let me know and we can make it happen! If you host the party there are products to be earned!

Transparency at it's Best

Life is simple. WE make it complicated. But without you I wouldn't be anything like I am now.-Unknown

I read that this morning and instantly thought of Zeb. Even with every effort that we make to keep things simple in our relationship, it tends to lean more on the complicated side. As two sinful and complicated individuals we are very good at turning a simple life into something much more complex. These complex situations are usually the hardest to get through and almost always self inflicted. To make matters worse, self inflicted wounds are probably the hardest to patch up. They usually involve some yelling, hurtful words, and sometimes tears on my end. They always end in an apology.

"But without you I wouldn't be anything like I am now".

Apologies have never come easy for me. It is just not something I enjoy doing or even receiving. These come much easier for Zeb. He has taught me to appreciate his apologetic efforts and return an apology every now and then. I will admit I am still working on this effort, but I would say we have taught each other a lot in this department.

"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you"-Matthew 6:14

The busyness of life makes things very complicated. Zeb is a full time student. He is taking 15 hours, working 2 jobs, earning his private pilot's license, taking care of both of our dogs, involved in a lifegroup and volunteering at church. I work full time, co-direct and coach a youth cheer program, attend a lifegroup, and volunteer at church. These commitments create complicated schedules that make dating hard.

"But without you I would not be anything like I am now"

When the busyness of life gets in the way of our relationship it forces us to make hard decisions. There are obvious things in our life that we can't cut out, but there are other parts that are easier to manage. For instance, as a dating couple we have to make conscious efforts to make time for one another. Since we are not married and therefore don't live together there are times that have to be molded for just us. This was hard for me at first since I tend to be fairly independent and surround myself with lots of friends. We have had to learn each other's love languages in order to manage this more effectively. Through the challenges and this learning process though we have come to know each other much better than I have ever previously known a dating partner. It is kinda fun too!

"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time because the days are evil"-Ephesians 5:15-16

Zeb and I have also committed our lives to Christ. Believe it or not this brings complications as well. In our effort be obedient to the Lord we are, again, forced to make hard decisions. Our relationship looks different than most others and even different than what we were used to prior to dating one another. We have placed boundaries in all parts of our relationship that are set to give glory to God. The enemy is always trying to find a way to tempt us.

"But without you I would not be anything like I am now"

This complicated factor has really required some creativity. Zeb is an excellent spiritual leader in our relationship. Rather than getting upset about the boundaries or giving into temptation, we have found other things to occupy us. We pray. Sometimes together and sometimes alone. We read. This includes the Bible and other books we can discuss. We get involved. We are leading a youth group together at church starting this Sunday. We visit. Friends are important to us and we love an opportunity to enjoy fellowship. We have really stretched ourselves in this area of our lives. Through the stretching though, we have been molded into better individuals both alone and together.

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you"-Matthew 6:33

Now, I wrote this blog today for three reasons. 1. To show some appreciation and love to a man who was put in my life by my Savior at his perfect timing. Neither of us could have predicted this, but God had a plan. 2. To show our need as a couple for a Savior through allowing you to see a small glimpse of our relationship. We are human. 3. To encourage you to allow people to see the imperfect human in you. I believe this is when beauty is at its best.

Even with every effort to live simply, it is not easy in such a complicated and sinful world. To be transparent about it is even harder, but I truly believe that transparency in relationships is needed. I would like to believe that more transparency would equal less turmoil among couples, but I don't know that I could ever prove this because people are too afraid of the judgments people will make. It's one of the reasons the initial statement that started this whole blog got me thinking. When I read it, I saw vulnerability. I saw imperfection. I saw transparency at it's best.

"Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ"-Galatians 6:2

I am glad to be blessed with Zeb. Without him I would not be anything like I am today.

Learning on My Own Terms

So since I graduated in May, I have found that I have LOTS of free time. I frequently find myself browsing for new things to learn and try. I thought I would share the 5 things that I have been working at learning lately.

1. Cooking-This is not something I grew up doing. My parents always made me great meals and I never participated in the preparation of these meals. Therefore, this is something I am trying to learn. I find it fascinating that there really is an art behind cooking a good meal. I often fail at the simplest things like chicken or potatoes. My first successful meal that I am very proud of came from this amazing blog- http://www.kevinandamanda.com/recipes/dinner/creamy-chicken-enchiladas.html. You must try this recipe! You will not regret it...maybe only the calories you consumed, but even then it is totally worth it!

2. Pilates-For anyone that knows me pretty well, knows that I LOVE a good pilates workout. Therefore, I am trying to learn how to be better so I can actually teach. Of course, in order to teach I will need to be certified and so that is also on my list of things to do in the near future. I would love to teach others the beauty of pilates and their bodies!

3. Biblical Stories-I have been trying to learn more stories of the bible. This is imperative to me in order to be a good Sunday School teacher, a good friend, sister, daughter and one day a good wife and mother.

4. Korean-I know this seems so completely random, but I have a couple students that are here from Korea. They do not speak or understand English that well. I thought I would try to learn some common phrases and terms to make this communication easier between us. It is not easy. In fact it seems impossible. I won't stop trying though, it's kinda fun.

5. Football-This one is mainly for Zeb. He loves it. I don't understand it. I mean I understand the general idea and I know the end goal, but everything in between is a train wreck to me. If I can at least have some knowledge of the plays and what's happening on the field, the game watching experience might be more enjoyable for both of us.

So, I would love to know...what have you been learning lately?