Fruitful Fridays

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This weeks thoughts are a tad scattered...bare with me.

I took on anti-wedding week in order to breathe. It had become all I was doing recently. It turned out to be wonderful. I was able to enjoy a valentines night with Zeb without a single talk of wedding stuff. I think he enjoyed it too. I have also been able to focus on helping him with post wedding stuff such as finding an internship and achieving career goals. Being a bride that others can tolerate is hard work. Speaking from experience, I never have the intention of making it all I do, but when it is my reality it is hard to not do. Does that make sense?

There is this friendship that means so much to me. This person was an important influence in my life and it kills me for some reason when I think about where we stand at this moment. This has consumed both my thoughts and prayer life lately. I want to go back to where we were before everything changed. Then I ask myself why it matters so much when I have lots of friends that do really care about me. Why do I need (or feel like I need) this 1 friendship above all the others?

I have found a home in Oklahoma and I like it here. I feel comfortable in this small town, with my small group of friends, and my small church. I can't help that I have become a small town girl. Since I have been in anti-wedding mode and future looking mode I have thought more about how sad it makes me to think about leaving. I don't know when we will leave or where we will go, but I know I am not prepared for it. Not at this moment. So I pray that God will adequately prepare me for that time and that His good plan will take over my selfish desires.

So whats going on in your life this week?

p.s. 5 months ago on this day my future was forever changed when Zeb Austin decided he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and I agreed. I am thrilled to follow thru with that promise in a short 91 days.