Being Vulnerable

"Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self control"-Proverbs 25:28

"A reactor either spews emotion or masters the silent treatment. A responder gives the gentle answer."

"Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God"-Matthew 5:9

"When you decide to live out what you believe. When you decide you want peace in your possession, then you will find out what that looks like & feels like. You begin to pray for God to give you peace. You incorporate peace in your relationships. You decide to respond differently. You speak in love. Act in tenderness. You imitate what you know about peace until it becomes a reality for your character & your life."-A Beautiful Offering

"Our responsibility (as salt) is to make men & women thirsty (for God) because of our lives."

These were all things I needed to read this morning. Everyday I wake up with the desire to please God, serve God, and love God. Everyday I fail. How?

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me." "Then the righteous will answer him 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' "The King will reply, 'truly I tell you whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'-Matthew 25:35-40

Matthew states that whatever you do or don't do for anyone, you do or don't do for God. So when I hurt my friend with my words, I hurt the heart of God. When I am cold to people I barely know, I am cold to God. When I offer the silent treatment to my husband, I am being silent to God. I fail everyday.

Everyday I need his grace and mercy and forgiveness and faithfulness. I place my hope in Him, knowing that He will give me the power to change my unkind words, cold actions, and silence to life giving words, heart warming actions, and gentleness. Because without him I couldn't do it.

Without Jesus, I am only human, incapable of anything beyond this world.

"If you have faith nothing shall be impossible for you"-Matthew 17:20

Right now it feels impossible to change these behaviors of mine. It feels like I am justified in these actions and others should change themselves. But you see, God says YOU must change first and you can only do that through me.

This has been on my heart heavily for quite some time. Being hateful to others, even when I feel it is justified, hurts me worse in the end than it ever hurt the receiving person. I want the person that I am and my actions to reflect the desires of my heart. The number one desire of my heart is for people to see Jesus in me.

I am praying for a change. I am praying for humility, peace, love, kindness, gentleness, and self control to live in my heart. I am praying to be a gentle responder and not a harsh reactor. I am praying for God's power and word to overflow in my spirit to keep the enemy from reigning.

I want to bring the light to everyone and every place in my life in honor of Jesus.

 "But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander and filthy language from your lips. Therefore, as Gods chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. And whatever you do, in words or deeds, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

Colossians 3:8,12,15,17