As you know, Sunday marks 1 year since I told Zeb Austin that I would love him until death do us part. As it approaches I got to thinking about all the ways I have tried to be a good wife to him this last year. I wondered how I could do better over the next year. Well yesterday I came across a book and it was my answer.
I received this book on loan, whoops, about 3 months before our wedding day. Stormie begins by telling her story in the book. She tells why she thinks it is so important for a wife to pray over her husband constantly. There was a time in her life when her marriage was on the rocks. She didn't know if they would make it another day much less another year. She began praying about it and experienced the power of prayer. From her experience birthed this book and many others.
I was really excited about this book at first. I started praying immediately for my future husband. The flame died and my prayers started to be on an as needed basis. You see, I would pray daily, but rarely was I praying for my husband. I would pray when I knew he really needed it, like when he got laid off and needed another job, that was a good time to pray for him. I wasn't praying in the off seasons though. In the seasons of good I was simply too busy praying for others that "needed" prayer or myself.
I picked up this book yesterday and I knew immediately it was my answer for the next year. My newest journal would be used to write down a daily prayer for my husband. Stormie offers all kinds of suggestions of things to pray about. Don't just pray about obvious needs. Pray for the things that he doesn't even know he needs prayer for. Pray for protection and to keep him from falling for the sin that we are all bent towards. Pray for the enemy to lurk somewhere else. Pray for his leadership in your marriage, his fatherhood, his relationships with others. You get the picture.
Stormie makes another point in her book. Praying for your husband is not about your control over him. In fact it is the exact opposite. It is relinquishing control to the one person who can actually do something about everything. A couple months ago I went to dinner with one of my very best sisters in Christ. I could trust her with my life.
Before I go any further let me just expand on this trust issue. Every single marriage has it's pitfalls. There is no doubt there will come a time in your marriage where you will wonder, "what the hell is happening to us?" You need women in your life that will lift you up. This is not a time to shout your marital problems from the rooftops. It's not about painting a picture that your life is perfect. It's about knowing who you can trust with the information that says it is not perfect. And here is why. There are people watching your life that are waiting for that one ounce of imperfection to make them feel better about the things in their life. Therefore, when you have problems that require the wisdom and prayers of your sweet friends, they need to be ladies you can trust. They need to be ladies that are going to help you close that growing gap, rather than make it wider.
Tiffani is one of those ladies for me. So we are sitting there at dinner, a half a margarita in, and I finally ask her if I can tell her why I am so frustrated with my marriage. Of course she lets me. I tell her all the things that are hurting me, that really stink, that frustrate me to no end. Not really expecting, but hoping, she will begin to agree that I should be frustrated and confirm my feelings, she doesn't. She said, "Sasha, you can't expect him to do something you are trying to control. You are trying to maintain control." Then she told me it wasn't until she realized she couldn't control her husband that she started to experience the freedom and change she had been wanting. She told me to give it over to God. Instead of complaining to Zeb, complain to God. Pray. Ask for His hand.
I love Tiffani for being one of the very few women in this life that won't give into my complaining. She won't tolerate the things pulling my husband and I apart. She stands behind my marriage and does not take sides. I walked away thinking, oh right, I am suppose to just pray and hope that God tells Zeb how to be a better husband. Right. RIGHT! Hello Sasha, God put you and Zeb together. In fact he is the only one who knows Zeb's heart, who knows the number of hairs on his head, who cares enough about your marriage to actually listen. Don't you think that when you ask for his help, he is going to be delighted and want to help? It is no different than when a child is working on something and the parent is standing back just dying to help, but they want their child to want their help and so they wait, but as soon as their little eyes look up and say, "mommy, will you help me?" They are delighted and can't wait. God is just waiting for you to ask.
I tell you all of this to help you understand my 1 year prayer mission. I want to encourage you to pray for yours too! And if you aren't married yet, pray for your future husband. Know that there is a war in this world. The enemy is trying to pull people apart and God is trying to help us stay together. Don't look at others and think they have it so good. If their grass is looking greener, it is time to water your own. Start the watering with prayer. I believe in the power of prayer. I believe there are things only God can change in my heart and his. I believe God can do a mighty work in any problem big or small, if you just seek him.
Right now things are good. They are great in fact. However, I know there will come another time when frustrations will rise. This time though, I will be better prepared. I will have begun a prayer wall that surrounds my husband and God will be right there with me because I asked him to be.
The power of a praying wife starts now.
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