Fear Is An Enemy That Will Always Lie To You

What would you do if you were not afraid?

It's a convicting question. One that has haunted me for weeks. Over the years I can point out a few key people who I have admired for their lack of fear. And actually for their lack of fear in one very particular area. They lacked the fear to be themselves. 

In my earliest years it was my mom. I watched her over and over again be who she was. There was no fear of what someone might think and if there was it didn't show. I believe she tried to instill that in us too. I can remember moments when she would tell us not to be so concerned about what someone else thought. She would probably tell you today that it has hardly stuck with me. I am concerned. 

A little later in life it came in the form of my best friend Amy. She never feared what someone might think. She was who she was and it was a quality I loved. It made me proud to be her best friend. "That's just Amy" I got used to saying. 

At another point in life it came with a dear friend named Ariel. She had a way of being herself, loving who she was, and drawing others to love her too. I found myself thinking, "when I grow up, I want to be just like her." 

It has come in my family in another way. My cousin Robin seems to have no fear of being who she is. People love her just the same and I am frequently wondering how to find that same lack of fear. 

Finally, it has come in my husband. He doesn't seem to be at all concerned about what someone else thinks. He is working on me. 

A couple weeks ago I had a very sobering moment. A very sweet woman looked at me and said point blankly, "Sasha, sometimes I think you over-analyze things." Which was a very nice way of saying, you worry too much about what others are thinking.  

THIS IS TRUE! 

I couldn't argue with her. I knew it. And I appreciated her honesty. I appreciated the authenticity of her statement. It wasn't mean or hateful. It just was. It is what it is.

This one way of experiencing fear has been at the very top of my prayer list. I don't want to fear what you think or what you think or even what you think because it leaves me in a very anxious state. However, when I convince myself to quit worrying about that I am left extremely vulnerable...and vulnerability is scary. There comes the fear again. 

So I am asking you too.

What would you do if you weren't afraid?