You Are the Average of 5

In my last post I shared about the Start Experiment that I have gotten involved with. It has been a challenging couple of weeks filled with people who encourage you, fight with you, and dream with you. My start partner shared this video with me and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Watch this first and then read on.

In Advocare we get a healthy amount of leadership training. It tends to be a lot of forward thinking, dream driven, positive encouragement that serves my personality well. One thing I hear frequently is this.

You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. 

The first time I ever heard that was in a book I was reading. I can't remember who the author was or even what the book was called, but I remember reading that and sitting on that for a while. I was immediately thrown into this brainstorming session of who I spend the most time with and what their influence is on me. 

Now stop there for a minute. We relocated to a town where we knew no one except my cousin a little over a year ago. While our social life has gotten better, I spend most of my "friend time" on the phone. Therefore, the 5 people I spend the most time with currently is usually my co-workers. I am extremely blessed to have one of the best bosses and great co-workers. They are all pretty grounded in their faith, prioritize healthy habits, believe in great marriages, and do very little gossiping. These are all things I can appreciate. 

With that said, outside of work, I tend to be very aware of who I give my time to. If I am the average of the 5 people I spend the most time with, I need those people to be pretty darn awesome! You see, I believe in this theory 100%. Even God says to be careful who you spend your time with. There are energy snappers and energy givers. The 5 closest people to me should probably have some of these priorities:

Christ first

Fiscal responsibility

dream driven

overall positive attitude with the ability to realize not everyday is perfect

Healthy habits

consumed with people rather than things 

Be active

I could go on, but you get the idea. I want one of my 5 to be really awesome at getting and staying debt free so I can be average at that by their teachings. I need someone that knows Christ better than me so they can teach me. I need someone that is even more positive than I am so I can continue to look on the brighter side. I need some one who sprints after their dreams so I will continue to walk in the direction of mine. And through out all of that I just hope that my average self can influence others along the way. 

The 5 people closest to you matter. If they are negative, you will be negative. If they are dream killers, you will kill dreams too or never find the courage to go after your own. Pay attention to who you give your time to. Strive to be someone that people would want in their closest 5. 

And in the word's of Kid President; "You got a heart beat! Do Something! Be Awesome."

Experimenting with Over 2,500 Other Starters

Tomorrow I will begin an experiment with over 2,500 people and it all started with a tweet by Jon Acuff a couple weeks ago. Jon tweeted the link to his blog that stated that he was looking for adventurers for 24 hours. If you wanted in on this adventure, you were to email him with your name, address, and phone number. That was it. He didn't bother sharing what might happen or what risks were involved, but I decided I was in.

Let's stop there.

Back in February I attended Advocare's conference called Success School. It is a two and a half day event that happens twice a year. It includes lots of recognition, big announcements, and leadership training. One of the training's was done by a leader in the company named Jason Pannell. He talked about a lot of things, but there was one thing that he yelled at us with such conviction, it has yet to escape me. In fact, I replay it in my head almost daily. I also believe it was playing loud and clear the day Jon solicited adventurers.

"You are so busy thinking what if I fail? WHAT IF YOU DON'T?!"

I read something tonight in a book titled Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. Dr. Brown does a lot of research on one topic that I believe feeds fear regularly, vulnerability. In this book she talked about a time when she was doing research and she asked her subjects to talk about some of their most meaningful relationships or feelings of connection. All of them immediately began talking about the times they felt the least connection or the greatest betrayal. In being asked to talk about this it was easier for every one of them to talk about the lack of relationship or connection.

In thinking about adventure, it is easier to think about all the reasons it might not work, but what if it does?

You see I don't believe this desire for adventure, risk, or punching fear in the face started a couple weeks ago with a tweet by Jon Acuff. I believe it began stirring in my heart in February or before. It has been simmering for quite some time, but now there is someone to help bring it to light. There is more heat to allow it to boil over. So tomorrow I will take one more baby step by accepting an email from Jon that begins this experiment. Next Monday I will begin 24 days of taking tiny baby steps towards something. I don't have a clue what that something is yet, but I know this. My heart has been anxious for quite a while. I have encouragement from 2,500 other people that are starting the path to their own fears dreams. I have what it takes. I am enough.

Sounds like I have all I need.

"No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am also brave and worthy."-Dr. Brene Brown

Each time he said, "my grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.-2 Corinthians 12:9

Fear Is An Enemy That Will Always Lie To You

What would you do if you were not afraid?

It's a convicting question. One that has haunted me for weeks. Over the years I can point out a few key people who I have admired for their lack of fear. And actually for their lack of fear in one very particular area. They lacked the fear to be themselves. 

In my earliest years it was my mom. I watched her over and over again be who she was. There was no fear of what someone might think and if there was it didn't show. I believe she tried to instill that in us too. I can remember moments when she would tell us not to be so concerned about what someone else thought. She would probably tell you today that it has hardly stuck with me. I am concerned. 

A little later in life it came in the form of my best friend Amy. She never feared what someone might think. She was who she was and it was a quality I loved. It made me proud to be her best friend. "That's just Amy" I got used to saying. 

At another point in life it came with a dear friend named Ariel. She had a way of being herself, loving who she was, and drawing others to love her too. I found myself thinking, "when I grow up, I want to be just like her." 

It has come in my family in another way. My cousin Robin seems to have no fear of being who she is. People love her just the same and I am frequently wondering how to find that same lack of fear. 

Finally, it has come in my husband. He doesn't seem to be at all concerned about what someone else thinks. He is working on me. 

A couple weeks ago I had a very sobering moment. A very sweet woman looked at me and said point blankly, "Sasha, sometimes I think you over-analyze things." Which was a very nice way of saying, you worry too much about what others are thinking.  

THIS IS TRUE! 

I couldn't argue with her. I knew it. And I appreciated her honesty. I appreciated the authenticity of her statement. It wasn't mean or hateful. It just was. It is what it is.

This one way of experiencing fear has been at the very top of my prayer list. I don't want to fear what you think or what you think or even what you think because it leaves me in a very anxious state. However, when I convince myself to quit worrying about that I am left extremely vulnerable...and vulnerability is scary. There comes the fear again. 

So I am asking you too.

What would you do if you weren't afraid?  

Just When You Thought Advocare Was All I Cared About

It’s been 7 months since the miscarriage and we are now 1 month past what would have been our due date. Being a girl I tend to keep track of these kinds of things. Anybody reading this probably knows me well enough to know that I am an open book. I lead a very transparent life. There are very little secrets. For this reason I needed to write today.


First let me say that I don’t want to hurt or offend anyone who has experienced the waiting game much longer than I have or has learned that they will never carry a child of their own. That is far from my intent. I simply need to have a monologue about this whole experience so far.

I thought it would be easier. I never thought I would get to know my body so intimately. I just figured when we were ready, we would put all contraceptives aside and wa-la pregnant we would be. I never knew I would eventually turn to ovulation kits or charting. After the miscarriage and all of the emotions I eventually got to a place where I told myself, “it is fine”. I will wait the recommended time by the Doc and we will start again and God will work it out. Being in our 5th month of trying again, I am still waiting for God to work it out.

I have put a lot of things to the side in 5 months all in the name of “trying to get pregnant”. My body has suffered because I am not as active as I was. My emotions have been rocked because they are on a constant up and down rollercoaster. It’s a fight between I am strong enough to not worry about it and I don’t get it. I had quite the break down last month for about a week that included lots of tears and prayers that only asked why and when. It’s been a ride. And I am sorry for the rawness of this post, but I am not sorry at all because sometimes this is just life. Sometimes it just has to be said and experienced in other ways besides your head and heart. Even if my husband would disagree completely.

So a lot of my energy has been wrapped around this one life changing event. I have spent countless hours on Google researching how to do what and if this is a sign or that is a sign. There are some crazy conversations happening out there in cyberspace between women. They’re sharin it all and then some! And holy Toledo, reading those boards is like interpreting a foreign language! c/p, bd, af, bfp, bfn…the list goes on and on! I have been very successful in obsessing over this one thing, but do you know where I have failed?

I have failed in enjoying today. I have failed in embracing this time I have with my husband that doesn’t include the worry of kids. I have failed in continuing to push myself to reach my goals. I have failed in reading books I enjoy or the bible because they have been replaced by baby web boards. I have failed in seeking the one who has it all planned out already because I think I can plan it better. Or if I do this one thing or if I don’t work out as much or eat this fruit that will boost my fertility or whatever it is. If I do it then it will happen. And I am pretty sure God’s just sitting up there maybe half way entertained by my scrambling, but definitely with a broken heart saying “just trust me”.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.-Proverbs 3:5-6

And I tell you all of this because sometimes God uses special people in special ways at special times to get this message across to you. God finally spoke to me through the mouth of my own husband last week. In a somewhat emotional moment, definitely on my end, talking about life I looked at Zeb and said why do you think it is so hard for us?

He said, and I am paraphrasing this entire conversation, Sasha I know you have been so anxious about all of this, but you have got to stop worrying and just let it happen. If you are worried about why we aren’t getting pregnant whether it’s because of something you did or aren’t doing now it’s not. Do you think we serve a vengeful God? No, we serve a loving God that has good things for us and He has a plan. I want to have our own kid just as bad as you do, but it’s in His hands and we have to trust that. If it’s through our own means or adopting or never that is for him to decide and not us. But you have got to stop stressing yourself out over it.

And as he talked my eyes just welled up in tears much like they are right now as I type. I knew what he was saying was true. And I felt so blessed that God made him my husband to calm me in these very moments. And I look forward to a day when he gets to be the daddy to our children and calm their fears by sharing the faith he has in God and His plan. When he will get to teach them how to put your trust in a loving and faithful God, because nothing on this earth provides more peace than the one who created it all. And he will get to do that because it’s been promised and His promises are real and always fulfilled. This I know.

In the words of Jesus, “Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.”-John 14:1

Capturing the Latest in this Wonderful Life

Golly it’s been a while since I have been able to find time to write! Let’s recap the last 2 months.


- Ended my career in Higher Ed for at least a little while to officially restart my career in recruiting. It is PERFECT!! I love recruiting and I love my team. I work with some of the best women in Lubbock, I am convinced of it. We also get daily reflections like this in our email. I love them.

- Ran another half marathon. This one was a trail though and let me tell you…it was brutal! Lots of fun though!

 

- We have done lots of house projects on the weekend. New headboard. New patio. New garden areas. It feels very homey around here this Spring. My heart is singing!

- We went to our first rodeo in 2 years!! It had been much too long! This has also prompted me to begin horseback riding lessons. Some of you may know, but I have a long time goal of competing in a rodeo. This girl is beginning to make that dream a reality even if it is with baby steps. You gotta start somewhere!

- We have continued to rock people’s world with some of the best nutrition on the market. Loving this company and the people more and more each day.

That basically sums it up. It has been a beautiful couple of months!   What are you celebrating these days?