I was rummaging through blogs yesterday and I read this.
"you can't take care of something you don't love. How do you feel about your body?"
It was one sentence that stopped me in my tracks. Even though I am not a prisoner to an eating disorder like this sweet girl...I knew exactly how she felt and exactly why her counselor was asking her this question. She needed to verbalize the thoughts that shot through her mind every time she looked in the mirror.
"your pants are getting tighter"
"you're lazy"
"you will lose him if you let it get out of control"
"you're legs are huge"
"can't you see the cottage cheese"
"you're face is getting rounder"
I don't know if those are her thoughts, but these are just a small glimpse of the sentences that haunt me lately. Every time I look in the mirror I am miserable. I hate putting clothes on these days because I know they won't fit right and I refuse/can't afford to buy new ones. It is a daunting cycle.
Three weeks ago I decided I was making a change and I did. My eating has been completely re-shaped, but the activity has not increased. It is my next step. The reason I bring this up today though is because of that one statement I read yesterday.
"You can't take care of something you don't love."
Steps of progress are slowed by hurdles of disgust.
I am crying out today because I no longer want to be stung by these awful thoughts. I want love myself when I look in the mirror.
Jesus I want to be so close to you that your thoughts become mine and therefore my beauty shines to me the way it shines to you. Help me love me.
"you are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you"-Song of Solomon 4:7
1 comment:
I totally understand and agree with that statement. Sadly, I have a food addiction and struggle with it every day. But I think if I love my body enough, I will start taking more care of it based on the inside instead of what it looks like on the outside. Thanks for sharing...inspired me!
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