My Other Half Minus 5 Years

With my youngest sister arriving in less than 12 hours and reading this blog this morning I am in full blown celebration mode.

Meet Crissy.



She doesn't quite look like this anymore, but that face says it all. This girl is not only my sister, but my partner in crime. She brings the goofy out of me. Like hard core.

Exhibit A

 

I just love this one.



And this one!



At times I thought we could be twins!



You could see why I am in celebration mode! When Crissy is around, it is almost like I get full permission to just be plain silly...and I love it! We are both growing older, but I never want this piece to leave us. Kelle Hampton really encouraged it and even expressed the importance of being silly (or celebrating) over everything. It brings fireworks to life!

Poor Zeb. 1 week stuck in a house with the two of us. What ever will he do?

Watch out Lubbock. If you see two girls walking down the street singing Avril Lavigne at the top of their lungs with a money catcher, they probably aren't homeless and it probably isn't anything worth giving money to, but you just might see it happen! (yes we really did that one time)

www.inspirationforyou.com

There is a world of inspiration on this thing called the web. I mean if you need inspired in anything, I bet you could find it.

Losing weight? Go Here.

Artsy? Go Here.

Writing? Go Here.

Homeschooling? Go Here.

Living with the unexpected? Go Here.

Faith? Go Here.

Marriage? Go Here.

Mission Work? Go Here.

There are so many more out there to meet every interest that might exist. I just know it.

Go explore today.

Be Inspired.

Touch a life.

In All Things There is Perfect Grace

It's 8 am and I am hearing nothing but faint sounds of birds outside and the dogs wrestling each other. I am reflecting on God's goodness in my life. I am surrounded by temporary walls that I don't really care for, but I am thankful for nonetheless. And how totally selfish does that sound? "Thanks for this temporary living situation God, but I can't wait to get out." I have probably said that in some fashion everyday for the last 3 weeks. Even though He provided for us just 2 days before we had to make the move here and kept us from having to stay in a hotel and miss out on time spent with our family, this is my attitude. Thanks, but no thanks.

Fail.

Earlier this week I broke down. I had a piss-pore attitude and before it was all wiped away I lost it. I cried in fear of not having enough. Silly stuff too. Not having enough green to get us through, not having enough discipline to actually stick to my eating plans, not having enough time to spend with my husband, not having enough desire to want to clean the house after a long day....enough, enough, enough! I just let it all build up inside of me and it was ready to come out...in the form of tears that is. After Zeb talked me through it all so graciously, I just knew God was watching up above smiling over Zeb and frowning over me. Fear wins again.

Fail.

One of the biggest things I have struggled with in making this move was the art of making new friends. I told one of my friends about how it is just different when you are married, you make friends differently. Although, apparently I hadn't cared that much because to be honest with you I hadn't asked God to bring me a friend once since moving here. Well yesterday He did bring a friend to me, out of nowhere, and I just watched like a cod fish in amazement.

Fail.

Thank you Jesus for saving me from all my failures. Yesterday I heard something that really resonated with me.

We frequently look at others through the Law, but then beg God to look at us through mercy.

I would take it even further to say we also look at ourselves through the Law and then think there is no way God can see us through mercy or grace.

Here is the good news.

Those are just 3 of the many ways I failed this week. And I am the only one keeping count. Jesus came to save me from my failures. God isn't keeping count and no matter how well I do or how bad I do, His love is just the same. He is smiling on me always.

I think that is a great note to start my Saturday on.

Go show grace to someone today cuz you know God is showing it to you.  

Success is Happening!

My oh my where has this week gone. We got back from our camping trip mid afternoon on Sunday. I wasted no time diving in to cleaning, laundry, and grocery shopping to get ready for the week. Zeb got the wonderful duty of bathing the dogs because boy did they need it after that! The backseat of my car stressed me out to even look at after towing them around for the weekend. Luckily we got that mess cleaned up pronto!

Camping was super fun once we figured out how to camp together. Since this was a new experience for us as a couple it just took a little bit to get there, but once we did it was awesome! We stayed at a really great campground that was nestled in the mountains of New Mexico. Our scenery was beautiful and the weather was perfect! We fished ALL day Saturday and unfortunately only caught two fish that were pretty small. It was still so nice and relaxing regardless of the outcome. We cooked s'mores over the campfire and just enjoyed the peacefulness that is camping. I can't wait for our next trip!

As for Insanity things are going great! With the exception of our weekend away, I have not missed a single day. Today marks two weeks since I did the first workout and so far I am down 4 pounds! I have to tell you that watching the scale inch down every day has been huge motivation to stay on track. Some people are against weighing yourself everyday, but I have found it to be my number one tool for staying focused on my goal. I have also enjoyed lots of fruits and veggies over the last two weeks.

I have found the best way to keep the course has been planning. It can be really easy to skip a workout or two, eat quick on the go meals, or just snack on whatever is around the office. However, I am on a mission and this mission can't run that way. Every Sunday I sit down and plan my meals for the week. I plan what I will eat for every meal over the next 7 days. Dinner is hit or miss in staying on the schedule, but we usually do better more often than not. Once I have planned my meals I hit the grocery store. Getting home from the grocery store is when the fun kicks in. I go through all my fruit and veggies that I have just bought and put them in individual portions. This helps my mornings when I am rushing to get ready for work. It is less time if they are already in their individual portions, all I have to do is throw them in my lunch bag. Planning is key!

Sunday will be my next Fit test. I will report progress then! I have to say, even if I have already said it, I am really loving the insanity workouts. I love the variation in workouts and Shaun T is pretty awesome!

It is almost Thursday friends! Looking forward to the long weekend!

HE Needs Prayer!

I love journals. It started in college when I had this awesome boss who is now one of my very best friends. She loved journals and we spent a lot of time together, so I guess I just grew to love journals too. Now I have journals for everything. I love to just buy journals even when I have nothing new to start writing about. They just inspire creativity and new thought to be written down. My newest journal is going to be dedicated to something very important.

As you know, Sunday marks 1 year since I told Zeb Austin that I would love him until death do us part. As it approaches I got to thinking about all the ways I have tried to be a good wife to him this last year. I wondered how I could do better over the next year. Well yesterday I came across a book and it was my answer.

I received this book on loan, whoops, about 3 months before our wedding day. Stormie begins by telling her story in the book. She tells why she thinks it is so important for a wife to pray over her husband constantly. There was a time in her life when her marriage was on the rocks. She didn't know if they would make it another day much less another year. She began praying about it and experienced the power of prayer. From her experience birthed this book and many others.

I was really excited about this book at first. I started praying immediately for my future husband. The flame died and my prayers started to be on an as needed basis. You see, I would pray daily, but rarely was I praying for my husband. I would pray when I knew he really needed it, like when he got laid off and needed another job, that was a good time to pray for him. I wasn't praying in the off seasons though. In the seasons of good I was simply too busy praying for others that "needed" prayer or myself.

I picked up this book yesterday and I knew immediately it was my answer for the next year. My newest journal would be used to write down a daily prayer for my husband. Stormie offers all kinds of suggestions of things to pray about. Don't just pray about obvious needs. Pray for the things that he doesn't even know he needs prayer for. Pray for protection and to keep him from falling for the sin that we are all bent towards. Pray for the enemy to lurk somewhere else. Pray for his leadership in your marriage, his fatherhood, his relationships with others. You get the picture.

Stormie makes another point in her book. Praying for your husband is not about your control over him. In fact it is the exact opposite. It is relinquishing control to the one person who can actually do something about everything. A couple months ago I went to dinner with one of my very best sisters in Christ. I could trust her with my life.

Before I go any further let me just expand on this trust issue. Every single marriage has it's pitfalls. There is no doubt there will come a time in your marriage where you will wonder, "what the hell is happening to us?" You need women in your life that will lift you up. This is not a time to shout your marital problems from the rooftops. It's not about painting a picture that your life is perfect. It's about knowing who you can trust with the information that says it is not perfect. And here is why. There are people watching your life that are waiting for that one ounce of imperfection to make them feel better about the things in their life. Therefore, when you have problems that require the wisdom and prayers of your sweet friends, they need to be ladies you can trust. They need to be ladies that are going to help you close that growing gap, rather than make it wider.

Tiffani is one of those ladies for me. So we are sitting there at dinner, a half a margarita in, and I finally ask her if I can tell her why I am so frustrated with my marriage. Of course she lets me. I tell her all the things that are hurting me, that really stink, that frustrate me to no end. Not really expecting, but hoping, she will begin to agree that I should be frustrated and confirm my feelings, she doesn't. She said, "Sasha, you can't expect him to do something you are trying to control. You are trying to maintain control." Then she told me it wasn't until she realized she couldn't control her husband that she started to experience the freedom and change she had been wanting. She told me to give it over to God. Instead of complaining to Zeb, complain to God. Pray. Ask for His hand.

I love Tiffani for being one of the very few women in this life that won't give into my complaining. She won't tolerate the things pulling my husband and I apart. She stands behind my marriage and does not take sides. I walked away thinking, oh right, I am suppose to just pray and hope that God tells Zeb how to be a better husband. Right. RIGHT! Hello Sasha, God put you and Zeb together. In fact he is the only one who knows Zeb's heart, who knows the number of hairs on his head, who cares enough about your marriage to actually listen. Don't you think that when you ask for his help, he is going to be delighted and want to help? It is no different than when a child is working on something and the parent is standing back just dying to help, but they want their child to want their help and so they wait, but as soon as their little eyes look up and say, "mommy, will you help me?" They are delighted and can't wait. God is just waiting for you to ask.

I tell you all of this to help you understand my 1 year prayer mission. I want to encourage you to pray for yours too! And if you aren't married yet, pray for your future husband. Know that there is a war in this world. The enemy is trying to pull people apart and God is trying to help us stay together. Don't look at others and think they have it so good. If their grass is looking greener, it is time to water your own. Start the watering with prayer. I believe in the power of prayer. I believe there are things only God can change in my heart and his. I believe God can do a mighty work in any problem big or small, if you just seek him.

Right now things are good. They are great in fact. However, I know there will come another time when frustrations will rise. This time though, I will be better prepared. I will have begun a prayer wall that surrounds my husband and God will be right there with me because I asked him to be.

The power of a praying wife starts now.

Marriage is What?

The other night we were sitting on our back patio and Zeb told me something that I am not sure he even realized would warm my heart the way it did. He was telling me about a guy that he works with that was recently engaged. They were talking about marriage and wedding planning and all the things that guys really love. His new work friend was telling Zeb that a lot of his friends were giving him a hard time about getting married. Zeb empathized and said ya I got the same thing. But then he said something I was not expecting. He told his newly engaged work friend that...wait for it....and I quote,

"Man, being married is actually pretty cool."

 I contained myself, even though inside I felt fireworks going off, as he finished his story. When Zeb told him that, the guy responded saying, "really? Man you have no idea how good it is to hear someone say that."

I know it seems so silly and I didn't even tell Zeb how happy it made me to hear him say that, but inside I was beaming! I mean let me just explain. First of all marriage is hard work. I have to say as we approach our one year anniversary that is just days away, it has not been a cake walk. Secondly, being a wife is even harder. I remember the first few months I strained myself constantly to make sure the kitchen was clean EVERY night before bed, woke up extra early to make lunches before work, and did laundry constantly. As soon as that faded I still kept up with those chores, but realized Zeb didn't always want a perfectly clean house as much as he just wanted to hang out with me. I guess what I'm trying to say is I was trying to be a good wife in ways that I thought made me a good one instead of in ways HE thought made me a good one. We have fought hard. I have cried. We have endured hours of silent treatments. But we have also laughed a lot, been silly together, gone on adventures, spent hours of porch sittin, talking about dreams for our future, etc. It has been one crazy year for us. Who can say in their first year of marriage that they moved 4 times, went through 6 jobs combined and one lay off? Not many. And at the end of 1 year he is telling someone else that being married is pretty darn cool. #Winning!

I tend to be one of those people that wants to make sure I am being the person others need me to be. I want to be a good daughter, sister, wife, friend, co-worker, student, etc. A lot of times I spend more time making sure I am pleasing others than I spend pleasing myself. I am OK with that. It is my nature. I am servant hearted. Well Zeb on the other hand is not one to express a lot of things. Those that know him, know he doesn't get overly excited about much and getting him to discuss feelings, well it is rare. So for me, as his wife, it tends to be a guessing game A LOT! I mean I assume since he is still around I must be doing something right, but it is not something I hear very much. You can see now why this tiny little conversation meant so much to me. It was confirmation, that one year in, he wasn't ready to go running for the hills! Come see me in 10 and I will let you know if that is still the case. :)

As for our anniversary, we are both really excited to be headed to the mountains of New Mexico tomorrow. Dogs in tow, all 4 of us will be spending the weekend on the river camping and fishing. I honestly cannot think of a better way to spend the weekend. I will be sure to take plenty of pictures to share next week. In the meantime say some prayers for our lives! I hear Smokey the Bear is out there somewhere and my guess is he is nothing like the TV character.

Only You Can Take You Where You Want To Be

My calendar reads REST today. This means I have finished 6 days of Insanity. Before I began day 1 I did a whole lot of reading up on this program. I have to admit I was completely terrified to start it. All I read was how hard it was. Not many people had anything nice to say about it. I had heard that you were a rock star if you actually completely the 60 day program. Well listen here people, I am on my way to rock star status.

I will not tell you this program is easy by any means. I take plenty of breaks during the video and drink lots of water. What I can tell you though is it is totally do-able. I mean I probably wouldn't tell someone that has not worked out in quite some time to jump in, but if you are even remotely active you could probably get through it. Even the people on the video take breaks and grab water.

Yesterday was the hardest by far! I think this program is making my metabolism speed up and therefore I felt way more hungry by the end of the day which made the 40 minutes even more brutal. However, I pushed through. There were multiple times when I just wanted to push stop and tell myself, "It will be OK, one day of not doing it won't hurt me", but I didn't. Remember when I first started this a week ago? I wanted it to be about pushing myself and not giving up. If I had quit yesterday I probably would many more times to come.

I also have to admit, as a Jillian Michael's junkie, I prefer this over her 100%. A lot of the moves are done in the Jillian Michael's video, but Shawn T is just....well easier to work with. I have lost 2 pounds so far and feel great! I did get some miles in over the weekend on top of the videos. I ran really slow because after doing the video my legs were not agreeing with my jogging, but I am on a mission legs and your not standing in my way!

This weekend I met a lady while volunteering at a local race. She is part of the West Texas Running Club, which is who was hosting the race. Besides the fact that she was completely confused by my act of volunteering for some random running club after only 2 weeks of being in Lubbock, she said something that stuck with me. She was telling me her story. I love hearing others stories. She was telling me about how two years ago she was a smoker and had never run more than three miles in her life. Now she no longer smokes and has completed 3 half-marathon races and multiple races in between of shorter distances. Being in her mid-40's she never thought her life would change this much.

That was not the part that stuck out to me though. The part that stuck with me is something that I think is so important for every single person that is trying to push themselves to new limits whether it is physically, spiritually, mentally, etc. She told me about a girlfriend of hers that wanted her to complete a triathlon with her. She told her friend it would be too hard because the part where you come out of the water to get on your bike is a steep hill. She didn't want to be the ONE walking her bike up the hill and she didn't think she could ride it up the hill. Her friend told her it was not against race rules to walk your bike at any point during the race. She said I know, but I just do not want to be that person. At that point her friend looked at her and said, "who are you doing it for?" This lady at the race told me that was a profound moment for her. It reminded her that whether she crawled across the finish line or rode across the finish line as long as she completed the race and was doing it to prove to herself she could, that was all that mattered.

So, who are you doing it for? I wanted to do Insanity because I give up easily. When things get too hard, I walk away. I want to know that I can stick to something no matter how hard it is. I am doing it for myself. Sure, there are added benefits like getting in better shape and feeling good about myself in a bathing suit, but the core of the matter is deeper. I need to know that I can push myself hard and not walk away when it feels like too much.

"Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else."- Les Brown

Thankful Tuesday or Everyday!

Every day I try to take a few minutes in the morning to reflect on all the things I have been thankful for over the last few days or week. Well this morning I was going through that list and my oh my did it become quite the list.

This morning I was thankful for:

• The blue birds I see frequently flying around our house. They are so pretty.
• Zeb's friend, Dustin, who has been a visitor twice in the last week. I enjoy having company.
• The church we visited on Sunday. Although it seemed like we stuck out like a sore thumb, I loved all the people that came up to introduce themselves to us and make us feel welcomed. Welcomed we felt.
• The strength to complete 5 days of Insanity in a row and still get some miles in running.
• Our house that is being built and all the people that are involved in that process.
• The winery we visited this weekend.
• The West Texas Running Club and the chance to volunteer at their race this weekend. It was so peaceful standing out in the country handing out water and Gatorade to runners.  
• The chance to say I'm sorry to one another when we let one tiny little argument almost ruin our Saturday.
• My family and how well we keep in touch regardless of the distance.

I told you, quite the list. I felt so lucky to have so much to be thankful for though. I met a great person while I worked at my last job and she was the one who inspired me to take time for this thought everyday. She shared with me that every morning she wakes up and it is the first thing she does. She writes down 1 thing she is thankful for. I am also thankful for her.

As many of you know, I was less than prepared to make this move to Texas. I think that is why it feels even better to still have a list of thankfulness. Try it. You will be surprised how hard it is to start your day grumpy when you have just reflected on all the good in your life.

Stay tuned tomorrow. I will give the run down on my first full week of Insanity.

Love this May 15th! It is the only one in 2012 you get!

Unleash the Athlete Inside

Well day 2 of Insanity is done. So far I have no complaints. I think it hyped it up to be so hard in my head that it is turning out to be better than expected. I won't lie to you it IS hard, but I just do what I can and rest when I need to. I think that is what it takes. You can't just quit when something gets hard. You have to give it your all in order to get better. That is my frame of mind during the workout.

Day 1 was the fit test. Basically, you just do 8 different exercises for a minute each. The goal is to do as many reps as possible in the 1 minute. Every 2 weeks we will do the fit test again and see if I get better. I will report my results in 2 weeks when I do the next fit test.

After doing the video tonight I went for a VERY slow 60 minute jog. I mean seriously slow! The idea though was to just get some miles in. As I mentioned yesterday, I don't plan to do hard training yet but I still want to get some miles under my belt. It felt great!

I was talking to some friends and they were saying they could NEVER run 5 miles. I told them they could and I am here to tell you that you can too. It won't happen overnight, but there is an athlete inside each and every one of us just dying to come out! Find it, challenge it, and go slow! Before you know time will fly and you will be running, swimming, biking, group fitnessing, whatever it is your inner athlete desires. Just stick with it. If you fail today, try again tomorrow. Just keep trying.

Happy Weekend!

Insanity!

I wanted to start this at the beginning of the week, but I just got it. I finally got the Insanity workout! I have been doing a lot of reading on it and I hear it is great. I also hear that not many can actually finish it. Well I am going to give it my best shot. Here's the deal, folks, I am starting today with the fit test. I want to actually attempt the 60 day program. That will put me right up to the time that I will need to be getting serious about my running in order to be ready for the half marathon in November. I am still going to do some running with the Insanity workout, but probably just light miles.

I am going to be completely transparent about this process, including revealing my weekly weight and inches. I will also talk about what I completely failed at and where I did well. I hear even the fit test is rough! I will have to weigh myself first thing tomorrow morning, but I think I am currently sitting at about 173. I will also measure my legs, waist, arms, and chest. Then in 60 days I can tell you whether it is worth the money, time, and effort!

To the moon!

5 Steps to a Healthier You!

About a month ago I designated one of my most favorite people in the world, Kali Bell, to be my accountability partner. I was so happy when she accepted my offer at this new position in my life. I needed someone who valued eating right and exercising as much as me, probably even more so, to tell me when I was stepping out of line. She has been FABULOUS!! Even better than I expected! No offense to her, she is great at everything, but she is also so busy I just assumed this would fall at the bottom of her to-do list. If it has I certainly have not been able to tell!

First, we became friends on the My Fitness Pal app. This is a wonderful app for tracking calories through out the day. It is seriously so sweet because you can just scan bar codes of the food you are eating and insert! You can also put in your physical activity for the day, which helps you see how many calories you are burning during certain activities. Since Kali and I are friends on the app we can view each others food diaries and hold each other accountable when we consume too much. It has definitely made me think twice about what I decide to eat. "Do I really want Kali to see that I had 2 donuts instead of just 1? I mean I guess I could just not log the second one and she would never know? But then I will feel guilty that I had to not log something just to feel OK about eating it?" Those are seriously the things that go through my head.

Step 1: Hire an accountability partner!

The other great thing about Kali is she sends me encouraging notes! One day I opened my email to find the most encouraging words about keeping on and taking care of your body. I love her for this! She is also pretty forgiving when I don't make my goals, but reminds me that I have to try again tomorrow.

Step 2: Hire an accountability partner!

Secondly, I have officially committed to a race. Well, I guess unofficially, officially, It won't be official until I actually pay the registration dues. However, I have verbally committed and now I am committing to all of you as my readers, which means I am committing! My friend Malarie and I are going to run the All Women's Half-Marathon in Phoenix on November 4th! Feel free to join us!!

Step 3: Commit to something!

Finally, all my fears are kicking in. This is something I have wanted for so long now. Some of you may know I began training in January to run the OKC Memorial Half-Marathon. Well it was sometime at the end of February or beginning of March when I went out for my longest run yet, 10 miles. I felt great the entire time. It wasn't until 2 days later when I tried to run that I realized my knee had been hurt. It took a huge hit on my running and I haven't run more than 5 miles since. However, I am determined to overcome this. My knee is back to normal and I believe that I can surpass 10 miles.

Step 4: Believe in yourself!

There was a time when I weighed 50 pounds more than I do now. There was also a time when I thought a runner did not exist inside my body. I have overcome both of those thoughts and now I will overcome the thought that I cannot run that far. I believe you can overcome your self-defeating thoughts too. You can lose those pounds, you can make healthier choices, you can run even if it starts with a walk. All of it starts with you though.

Step 5: Believe in yourself!

There Is So Much To Celebrate!

It's been 1 week since we have made the big move across state lines to Lubbock. Thanks to some good friends and our parents we were able to get loaded up and unloaded pretty easily. It's been super fast, but I can honestly say we haven't skipped a beat. We got moved into our temporary house that will get us through the summer and allow us some time to find a more permanent home. We started our jobs immediately, Zeb on Monday, and me on Tuesday. We will be going on a second round of house tours with our realtor today and I have already ran most of the neighborhood.

It has been a really smooth transition and I am happy to report that things are feeling really comfortable. I think our social life should pick up pretty quick too! We will check out a couple churches over the next couple weekends and get plugged in wherever we land. Things are good.

It is hard to believe it, but our 1 year is quickly arriving! We have secured a tent site at a campground in New Mexico. We figured this would be a nice anniversary trip since we have been wanting to go camping for a while and yes, the dogs can come too! One big happy family.

Let me tell you what I have noticed so far about Lubbock that I love! First, there is a lot of activity in our neighborhood. We went on a couple walks this week and there are so many others down at the park or just out walking there dog. Second, this morning I was driving back from Bodypump and noticed 2 different lemonade stands manned by kids with their parents in the background. It warmed my heart. Finally, the people are so nice! Seriously, we went to the grocery store and got waved at multiple times as people passed.

Lastly, I am getting pretty serious these days about my workout regimen and what I put in my body. It certainly hasn't been easy, but so far I am loving the way I feel. I have more energy and my body just feels better. I will report more on that later.

I read a quote the other day that I loved. It said something along the lines of, "you will only see the good in people if you are truly looking for it". I have applied that to our life and it just changes things. It is so easy to see all the hard things, but if you are only looking for the good than that is all you will see.

Find the sun in the clouds! Believe in yourself! Change someone's life! and most importantly, Smile!

Happy Saturday!