Can Someone Shake Me?

I think I need a talkin' to. A pep talk. A reality talk. Somethin. This girl is on the verge of losing her mind.

The days usually vaguely begin at 5:30 AM. By vaguely, I mean the alarm goes off, I think about what day it is, hit snooze and fall back asleep...for about 8 minutes. And I do this EVERY morning. Why?

Because EVERY night before bed I set my alarm anticipating the run I will take at the wee hours of the morning, and the coffee I will enjoy on the back porch, and the time I will spend in solitude before the day really begins. Every night I anticipate this. Every night I want this. And every morning I miss the mark.

At about 6:48 AM I realize my perfect morning has now been lost and jump out of bed to rush around in order to leave on time. Once I have beat myself up enough about missing out on my perfect morning, I reassure myself that I still have tomorrow to do it right. Oh and the weekends?? Well I hardly sleep past 7 AM these days in hopes of enjoying some sweet morning moments. Every day. Every week. Anxiety around what I am missing out on in those mornings I choose snooze sets in. I love them. I miss them.

The rest of my day revolves around how can I....

eat better?
save more money?
make more money?
read more?
write more?
exercise more?
worship more?
talk to friends more?
talk to family more?
invest more in my marriage?
learn a new hobby?
prove to old acquaintances that I am better, kinder?
get better at my job?
get better at cooking?
become certified in group fitness?
learn more about the world?
get organized?

How can I do all that today? or at least by the end of the week? How?

Are ya'll tired yet?

I need someone to tell me the world is not ending next Monday and I still have time to do better at all of the above. I need someone to tell me that it is OK to sleep in some mornings and not stress about the morning I missed and as much as I love those brief moments in the morning I will get another day to enjoy them. I need someone to tell me I can't be everything to everyone. I need someone to tell me that even if I don't get it all done, what is done is enough.

Today I get 1,440 minutes to spend doing my best. My best is sometimes my worst, but tomorrow is another 1,440 minutes that is not actually promised to me. All I have is today.

Someone remind me to breathe. Take in this moment. And just live.