Friday, July 13, 2012

When Life Makes You Different...In A Good Way

Sometimes when life changes the best thing you can do is change with it. It is a lesson I have learned over the last year. I say this cautiously, as I don't want to elude to the fact that you become a completely different person. Instead you kinda morph with your reality.

I bring this up because I was thinking about the person I used to be and the person I am today. At my core I am still a fun, loving country girl who experiences emotions on every level very intensely, but I am different. When I got to thinking about the person I am today and who I was three years ago there is much I wish I could have told myself back then.

I would have told myself that there are men in this world that will break your heart, but there is one that will put it together and he is only right around the corner. And if I could have told myself that then maybe I would not have damaged my professional image by allowing my personal life to completely influence my interactions with others. And if I could not have damaged by professional image in that time in my life then I might not feel nearly as embarrassed when I talk to people from that time in my life. Because they might actually believe in me and my professional ability.

I would have told myself to be kinder to people. Kindness really does go a lot further than flying solo and holding your pride high. I would have told myself to slow down and engage in more conversations with others. I would have told myself that I can't possibly have my entire life figured out and to take it one day at a time. I would have told myself to create more friendships and to not divulge every single thought that ever ran through my head. I would have told myself to be less critical of those around you, especially the friends you didn't want to lose. I would have laughed more and realized those people were not out to get me.

Unfortunately, I will not ever be able to take back the things I did then. I sometimes want to call certain people and ask them for forgiveness. I want to ask them to believe in me again or for once if they never did. And I have actually had those conversations with others. They aren't easy and they require extreme vulnerability, but I guess it is the price you pay if you want people to know that you are different now. When you want people to know that you have grown up a little, that you have realized that it isn't your intentions that people remember it is the way you made them feel, and you want them to leave your presence feeling better and not worse.

I am sure there will be things 3 years from now that I will still look back on and wish I had done differently today. I hope to continue learning and growing the way I have over the last few years because while there are people in my past that I know I will never convince to think greatly of me again, I am so grateful for the ways I have become different. I am grateful for the people in my life that have challenged me to think differently and be better. I feel blessed to have had multiple do-overs available to me.

Today, I would challenge you to tell someone that you believe in them in case they don't know it...because everyone wants to know that somebody believes in them.

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